Thursday, February 28, 2013

Mommy Friends

Girls are mean, spiteful things some times....I wote a blog before about can read it here.
But as we grow up..we can also appreciate the women in our lives as the friends they are, and have been.  Some come in and out of your life, seemingly inseperable one day and then gone for months or years..but always holding a significant place in your life, shaping memories as well as your heart.

I could wax poetic about friendships in a sappy way..but I won't. Instead I want to focus on one particular type of friend..."The mommy friend".

When I quit work to stay home with the twins, I was ALONE. My friends all still family lived out of state. I was managing sick babies and that took all my energy.  Since they were preemies we were essentially quarantined for months...and I had very little time to do anything other than meet their basic needs.  Adult, friendly interaction was not high on my list...until I started missing it.

It took me a while to make "mommy friends".
You meet them at church, or the kiddie gym, or in my case physical therapy for your kids.  You meet them through other friends..or even online...

Friends who understand when you tell your kid to shut up when you're on the phone.  They understand when you cancel 3 playdates in a row because someone has a fever, or just really needs a nap.  They get it when you leave a scheduled outing early because your kid fell in the Koi pond outside Barnes and Noble.  They'll even brave a restaurant with you and your brood of chuckleheads.

They get it when you say you may have to home school because your kids are always sick but they know you'd never really homeschool because you'd go crazy.

They live next door and will keep your kids at the drop of a hat if you need them too.  They always share recipes and baked goods, and try your new ones as well.

They laugh with you about man colds and how your kids are so much better dressed than you are.

They teach you to respect the environment and hug trees, and then vote Republican.

They make you want to eat better and feed your kids better, but don't judge when you hit Dunkin Donuts weekly.

They have  multiples, like you, and understand that quiet is not a concept recognized in your home, and also how exhausting these little blessings can be. And that sometimes you just want a pedicure.

They are your cousins with whom you shared your childhood, and now you share each other's journeys of parenthood. You compare milestones and concerns and stories that should not be funny but are hilarious.

They are friends who you had before you both had kids, and now your friendship means so much more because your lives mean so much more.

Sometimes they are your child's teacher, who has taken such a keen interest in your child, and taught your baby so much, that all you can feel is grateful.

They support you in realizing you are still in an individual, not only someone's mom...and that you have your own personality and interests and talents that still need to be recognized and appreciated.

They are your mom and mother in law, whose advice is truly welcome for two reasons:
1) they raised some pretty great kids already
2) they love your kids as much as you do

They are the people who make you realize you're not totally crazy, but it's ok to be a little bit crazy.
Don't get me wrong, at some point they were probably melodramatic and catty teenage girls, but today they are pretty awesome.