The Olympics start tonight. With all the hype leading up to them, I have had a warm feeling of nostalgia. I haven't really been able to explore the feeling, it was more in the back of my mind...like fleeting deja vue. I mean, the Olympics are awesome. Everyone loves to watch them and cheer on our athletes. But this felt like more..and it felt more personal.
Last night I had a rare dance with insomnia. During this time, I realized why the Summer Olympics make me feel a happy longing and a nostalgic buzz.
Four years ago I had two 10 month olds. Being preemies, they were still tiny and still ate frequently. They also still woke up twice a night to take a bottle. So four years ago, I would huddle on the couch with two warm bottles and two warm babies, with the gymnastics and swimming competitions on mute in the middle of the night. I would nuzzle two little fuzzy heads and sniff sleepy baby smell times two while watching a medal ceremony live at 2 in the morning.
That's what the Summer Olympics will be to me. Not just something that can bring the country together, but memories of my babies..who are growing, growing, gone. Replaced by little boys.
this is really beautiful. I feel it, mama.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about a big golf tournament I watched in the hospital the weekend my littlest was born ... and many silly cartoons watched during those endless nighttime feedings because my brain couldn't process anything more complicated.
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ReplyDeleteMy feelings are similar in the nostalgia part but a little sadder. My little turkeys were still in the hospital 4 years ago and I was up at 3:00 in the morning pumping watching the medal ceremonies. I would cry like a baby every time I watched one of those suckers. Hormones :)
ReplyDeleteStopping by from the hop :) I have 3 under 3 so will soon have 3 preschoolers haha! love ur blog!
ReplyDeleteMisty @ http://monkeysandtutus.blogspot.com