Sunday, March 11, 2012

the date night rule

My birthday is approaching, so my husband and I decided a much needed and long awaited date night should be on the agenda.
 Saturday night? check
All the kids are healthy? check
Babysitter? check
Rezzies at one of my favorite restaraunts? check

And off we went..perfumed, cologned and childless.

Dinner was excellent and completely unrushed. We had no crayons that needed to be repeatedly picked up off the floor. No juice was spilt. Never even a glance at a kids menu.  Appetizers, dinner, dessert and drinks...

The conversation was easy and fun and light. We laughed, a lot. We both think we are pretty funny. Especially with the infusion of red wine.

 You know how you always read that date nights are a must for tired parents with young children.  And that when you get away together, just the two of you, you shouldn't discuss the kids at all. You should discuss yourselves and reconnect as a couple, right?
When the (large) pitcher of sangria was delivered to the table with a wooden spoon, we laughed because we knew how much B would like to stir it. He loves to stir things right now. I don't know why, but he does.

Then when the loaves of warm cuban bread came, we discussed how much A loves bread. Or any carbs really. How he could probably eat half a loaf.

During dinner we discussed a myriad of, our parents, plans for the summer, memories from our past and most often, our kids.

When dessert came, we both remarked on how much C would love the Flan, and how she would insist on eating all of it, even the strawberry garnish.

We walked down the cobblestone street in Old Town holding hands and laughing at the funny things our kids had said and done lately. How smart they are, how they are growing up and acting like little people instead of babies.

It was a great night.  We talked about everything, but the recurring theme, was, in fact, our kiddos. Of course we are going to think about and discuss our babies, even on a date. They are what make us happy. They are the crux of our lives right now. They are the main thing we bond over right now. We made these perfect little goofballs, so when we are celebrating our relationship on a date, how can we not celebrate our kids as well.

We certainly don't have time to have in depth conversations or enjoy memories for more than 2 minutes at a time when we are home with all three of them bouncing around us.  So when my husband and I have time to chill, to reconnect, to converse and just enjoy each other's company, I am pretty sure we will always laugh over, adore, discuss and admire our children. They are what makes "us" us.


  1. "So when my husband and I have time to chill, to reconnect, to converse and just enjoy each other's company, I am pretty sure we will always laugh over, adore, discuss and admire our children. They are what makes "us" us."
    Exactly the same for us. My husband and I went out last night and we had a great time. Halfway through our meal, he glanced at me and said, "You know, I miss the kids." I smiled. "Yep. Me too."

  2. I'm so glad you had a nice date night! Sounds like a great time...and what better topic of conversation than the babies. They are SUCH a source of entertainment, aren't they?

  3. We don't necessarily miss the kids when we are out alone on date nights, but we certainly talk about them. We talk over their quirks, and the dreams we have for them, and the way they've made us better people even as we're becoming better parents. I think it's when parents don't have anything to talk about BESIDES the kids, that there are problems. But not talking about them at all would be like Bill Gates not discussing Microsoft while he worked there. :)

  4. I completely agree!!! We went out to a very nice LONG dinner a few weeks ago. We had a great time, relaxed, drank wine, and laughed. And we most certainly talked about our kids too:)

  5. This brought tears to my eyes. This is SO MUCH me & my hubby. We were told the same thing, its best to not discuss kids when we finally get 'alone' time, but like you said - the kids are the GLUE that holds our family together so it wouldn't be right to shun them from our thoughts EVER :) Love the blog! <3

  6. our life is so, so different, yours sounds so good! the stepfamily version feels so complicated sometimes it's unmanageable, like I can't breathe. we rarely get a sitter bc the hubs feels guilty...since we only have his kids on the weekends, he wants to be with them. we have my son full time, his dad doesn't see him, so not much time away...trying to do things during the week feels so hard because we both work. i am super happy for you, though, I think your date nights are how they are supposed to be! :)

  7. It's much better than not having date nights anymore and not talking with your wife about the kids much. Don't even ask. You're blessed!