Saturday, April 28, 2012
Family Portrait???
So for Mother's Day I am doing something I have never done before..I am attempting The Family Portrait. I have plenty of pics of the kids...official Christmas pictures (ahhh, the fun here), Easter pictures, Birthday photos. Studio posed, candids, dressed up, dressed down. But other than a few haphazard pictures in which one child is undoubtedly crying, one has her back turned, one is grabbing his crotch, one is looking at the sky, one is in the process of falling off a rock, or one is squatting down to eat some old candy off the floor, I have no pictures of my husband, my children and me. So I am going to pay a real photographer to meet us at a neutral location, maybe the beach, or the bayfront marina, or the lawn of the historic Fort downtown, or hell maybe at Chuck E Cheese...and we will attempt to create a picture which is beautifully artistic and representative of my lovely family. This lucky photographer will arrange three preschoolers in a fun and vivid fashion around their exhausted-but-happy parents and surely freeze a moment in time that will forever encompass the perfection of our family unit. We will all be dressed impeccably and complimentary of each other. We will all have brushed hair, and teeth. We will hopefully be band-aid free, and please God let us be stitches and cast free as well. Everyone will smile sincerely at the camera, or either we'll be captured in one of those moments where we are all looking at each other adoringly, hugging each other with our eyes and arms. It will be perfect. I will hang it on the wall forever, and everyone will "oooohhh and aaaahhh" when they visit. It will be cherished forever. I cannot wait. I will share it with you...unless it looks like total shit.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
What I learned at the Zoo from my kids
Chickens and ducks poop eggs
Cows pee milk (there were no cows at the zoo but, hey, whatev)
Ant Eaters have hairy butts
Giraffes have gross tongues, and will eat leaves but not your arm
Some birds will try to eat your finger if you touch them
Animal poop smells bad, like poop
Stink Rays are slimy ( yes, I know they are really Sting Rays)
Butterflies dance in the air
The train is the most fun part of the zoo, even the third time you ride it
And finally, my kids are the niftiest little people in the world
Cows pee milk (there were no cows at the zoo but, hey, whatev)
Ant Eaters have hairy butts
Giraffes have gross tongues, and will eat leaves but not your arm
Some birds will try to eat your finger if you touch them
Animal poop smells bad, like poop
Stink Rays are slimy ( yes, I know they are really Sting Rays)
Butterflies dance in the air
The train is the most fun part of the zoo, even the third time you ride it
And finally, my kids are the niftiest little people in the world
Monday, April 16, 2012
relating
Unfortunately, my induction into motherhood was not pleasant or beautiful. It was a terrible, hospital admitted preganancy followed by an urgent C-section and two tiny sick babies in the NICU. While I automatically associated overwhelming love with motherhood, I also associated anxiety and fear.
You know how constant crying can drive you crazy? Well with twin babies, it seemed like someone was always crying..throw another one into the mix a year and a half later and you are literally surrounded by wailing and tears..They were babies..they were supposed to cry, right? No..I could not handle it. Not because the noise itself bothered me but because I felt like it meant I was failing in some way...not meeting a need. I wanted to anticipate what my babies needed, therefore eliminating their need to cry. Bad move..if you are a new mom or a future mom please take this to heart...unless there is a medical reason, you do not need to meet your baby's every need the very second it is expressed.
When I finally brought the boys home, we also brought a heart monitor and an oxygen tank. It sat in the corner of the nursery looking like a giant torpedo, constantly reminding me how frail and fragile the boys, especially B, where. I would find myself in the hall running toward their room before I even realized I was awake because the heart monitor alarm was sounding. I was a nervous wreck. But I was also constantly in a state of high alert. Looking back, I wish I could have relaxed a little more, enjoyed a little more...but the anxiety is probably what fueled my constant energy and allowed me to operate on 3 or 4 hours of sleep.
The boys thrived and grew, with a lot of attention and a lot of Doctor's visits. And then little C was born and came into the world in a much more mellow fashion. In fact, she is a much more mellow kid in general. But I noticed a problem as the boys approached toddler-hood. I still wanted to fix everything for them, all the time. I did not know how to "mother" without being anxious. We had developed habits and relationships based on love, yes, but also on me being scared and nervous. On survival-instinct, which is gutteral and irrational. And they counted on me anticipating every need, every want. And I had to let go..at least a little. I still struggle with this. Every day. But as my pediatrician told me "it is not our job to make our kids happy, it is our job to teach them how to make themselves happy". So true. I want functional adorable little kids who are loving and independant and sure of their own abilities. I also want them to know they can come to me for anything. They will always be my first priorities. All three of my kids are bright and social, and they do not need me to solve all of their problems. They are completely capable, and I want them to realize just how capable, so I have to let them work it out, cry it out in timeout, or just be mad sometimes. I want love and respect to rule our relationships, not anxiety.
So here is my advice if you have a baby...It is ok if they are not happy for a few minutes while you get the bottle ready. You do not have to run to them, heart pounding and breathing heavily every time they cry out in the middle of the night. You don't have to solve every little thing for them right away, sometimes a little frustration is good for them. I tell you from experience that if you jump every time your baby whimpers, you will soon have a toddler who not only tells you to jump, but how high as well.
You know how constant crying can drive you crazy? Well with twin babies, it seemed like someone was always crying..throw another one into the mix a year and a half later and you are literally surrounded by wailing and tears..They were babies..they were supposed to cry, right? No..I could not handle it. Not because the noise itself bothered me but because I felt like it meant I was failing in some way...not meeting a need. I wanted to anticipate what my babies needed, therefore eliminating their need to cry. Bad move..if you are a new mom or a future mom please take this to heart...unless there is a medical reason, you do not need to meet your baby's every need the very second it is expressed.
When I finally brought the boys home, we also brought a heart monitor and an oxygen tank. It sat in the corner of the nursery looking like a giant torpedo, constantly reminding me how frail and fragile the boys, especially B, where. I would find myself in the hall running toward their room before I even realized I was awake because the heart monitor alarm was sounding. I was a nervous wreck. But I was also constantly in a state of high alert. Looking back, I wish I could have relaxed a little more, enjoyed a little more...but the anxiety is probably what fueled my constant energy and allowed me to operate on 3 or 4 hours of sleep.
The boys thrived and grew, with a lot of attention and a lot of Doctor's visits. And then little C was born and came into the world in a much more mellow fashion. In fact, she is a much more mellow kid in general. But I noticed a problem as the boys approached toddler-hood. I still wanted to fix everything for them, all the time. I did not know how to "mother" without being anxious. We had developed habits and relationships based on love, yes, but also on me being scared and nervous. On survival-instinct, which is gutteral and irrational. And they counted on me anticipating every need, every want. And I had to let go..at least a little. I still struggle with this. Every day. But as my pediatrician told me "it is not our job to make our kids happy, it is our job to teach them how to make themselves happy". So true. I want functional adorable little kids who are loving and independant and sure of their own abilities. I also want them to know they can come to me for anything. They will always be my first priorities. All three of my kids are bright and social, and they do not need me to solve all of their problems. They are completely capable, and I want them to realize just how capable, so I have to let them work it out, cry it out in timeout, or just be mad sometimes. I want love and respect to rule our relationships, not anxiety.
So here is my advice if you have a baby...It is ok if they are not happy for a few minutes while you get the bottle ready. You do not have to run to them, heart pounding and breathing heavily every time they cry out in the middle of the night. You don't have to solve every little thing for them right away, sometimes a little frustration is good for them. I tell you from experience that if you jump every time your baby whimpers, you will soon have a toddler who not only tells you to jump, but how high as well.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Ten Years of Wedded Bliss
Yesterday was my husband's and my ten year anniversary! Ten years and we have made a three great little people and we still totally dig each other..I'd say that's a success..so what did we do to celebrate? We decided to take the family to Toy Story 3 on Ice...may as well celebrate with the family since they are such a large part of our marriage anyway. Plus, we go to Disney on Ice every year because the kids LOVE it.
Unfortunately, my husband threw out his back yesterday morning. Like crawling around on hands and knees back pain....I don't have back troubles so I can't truly relate, and it was our anniversary so I held back the urge to say "suck it up you weenie" all day. Plus, as soon as I would have said something ugly, it is assured that I would then throw out my back and be in excruciating pain...because Karma is like that and she follows me around and looks for opportunities to mess with me...
sooo...my parents were in town, and my dad stepped up to the plate to go to Toy Story with me and the chuckleheads...
It was a blast...seriously. Not only was the show very entertaining, but what I really enjoyed was watching the kids reactions...anticipation, excitement, laughter, concentration, ooohs, aaahs..the whole realm.
A was excited. He pointed a lot, yelled the name of each character as they appeared, and yelled answers when the skaters asked interactive questions. He laughed and made commentary to me the entire time. 4 year old commentary.
B was very intense. He sat at the edge of his chair and watched. This was some serious shit and he didn't want to miss anything. If you spoke to him he turned his head towards you while leaving his eyes on the show, and responded with an answer that was what I imagine to be the 4 yr old equivalent of eff off.
C was enthusiastic. She clapped and sang along...head shaking and mouth open rock star style. She danced and bopped around and applauded. She had a ball.
I loved seeing their distinct little personalities and how differently they reacted, even though they all three enjoyed the show immensely. I could tell my dad loved going with us too, and being a part of something the kids loved. It made it even more special for them to have Grandaddy with us.
On the way home, an exhausted B said his tummy hurt. I wasn't sure if it was from the chocolate dipped marshmallows, caramel apple, cotton candy, french fries, nachos or lemonade.
Such was my ten year anniversary.
Saturday we have a sitter for the chuckles and dinner plans...not sure that is going to happen. There are not many restaraunts that appreciate it when you crawl in, and then stand the entire time you eat....there's a good chance we'll be here with the kids, watching Tangled or Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Unfortunately, my husband threw out his back yesterday morning. Like crawling around on hands and knees back pain....I don't have back troubles so I can't truly relate, and it was our anniversary so I held back the urge to say "suck it up you weenie" all day. Plus, as soon as I would have said something ugly, it is assured that I would then throw out my back and be in excruciating pain...because Karma is like that and she follows me around and looks for opportunities to mess with me...
sooo...my parents were in town, and my dad stepped up to the plate to go to Toy Story with me and the chuckleheads...
It was a blast...seriously. Not only was the show very entertaining, but what I really enjoyed was watching the kids reactions...anticipation, excitement, laughter, concentration, ooohs, aaahs..the whole realm.
A was excited. He pointed a lot, yelled the name of each character as they appeared, and yelled answers when the skaters asked interactive questions. He laughed and made commentary to me the entire time. 4 year old commentary.
B was very intense. He sat at the edge of his chair and watched. This was some serious shit and he didn't want to miss anything. If you spoke to him he turned his head towards you while leaving his eyes on the show, and responded with an answer that was what I imagine to be the 4 yr old equivalent of eff off.
C was enthusiastic. She clapped and sang along...head shaking and mouth open rock star style. She danced and bopped around and applauded. She had a ball.
I loved seeing their distinct little personalities and how differently they reacted, even though they all three enjoyed the show immensely. I could tell my dad loved going with us too, and being a part of something the kids loved. It made it even more special for them to have Grandaddy with us.
On the way home, an exhausted B said his tummy hurt. I wasn't sure if it was from the chocolate dipped marshmallows, caramel apple, cotton candy, french fries, nachos or lemonade.
Such was my ten year anniversary.
Saturday we have a sitter for the chuckles and dinner plans...not sure that is going to happen. There are not many restaraunts that appreciate it when you crawl in, and then stand the entire time you eat....there's a good chance we'll be here with the kids, watching Tangled or Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
poor MINNIE
I hate potty training...like really really hate it. I have 2 down, one to go. Everyone said the girl would be the easiest. Apparently girls seem to "get it" sooner than boys, and she also has 2 slightly older brothers... so she, in fact, does do most things early in an attempt try keep up with them. But using the throne is not coming easily to my princess.
This morning when I was changing her pull up, she yelled "I have to pee!" So we ran to the bathroom and placed her on the seat made for especially tiny butts and lo and behold..I heard the tinkle. She was quite surprised and said, "I CAN do it!". We cheered, we called daddy, and all of the grandparents. We celebrated with gummy bears...and we put on Minnie Mouse undies.
"Don't pee on Minnie, make sure you tell mommy and we will ruuuuun to the potty again!"
She nodded and looked at me with her huge brown, long lashed eyes solemnly. I dared to dream of being diaper free after four and 1/2 years. Could it be? I am really getting sick of pee and poop. Please let it be.
Fast forward 15 minutes..
"Mommy, I am peeing again". Sure enough..there was a little puddle forming on the carpet. Ruuuuun to the bathroom. Too late, but we will keep trying. On to Daisy Duck undies. Minnie gets tossed in the hamper.
"Mommy, I want Candy now."
"No, baby, the candy is for when your pee pee is in the potty".
She nods, I go make a second cup of coffee.
Return to the family room..
"Mommy, my pee pee is in the potty."
"No baby, you peed on Minnie...not in the potty. But it's ok, we will keep trying."
As I tell her this I hear the quiet rushing sound of the toilet right after it is flushed.
Walk into the bathroom...
Walk into her room and look in the hamper...
No Minnie.
"ummm, baby, where is Minnie?"
"In the potty."
"Did you flush Minnie down the potty".
Big solemn brown eyes again, nodding.
I guess she put her pee in the potty alright.
Now where is my plunger?
This morning when I was changing her pull up, she yelled "I have to pee!" So we ran to the bathroom and placed her on the seat made for especially tiny butts and lo and behold..I heard the tinkle. She was quite surprised and said, "I CAN do it!". We cheered, we called daddy, and all of the grandparents. We celebrated with gummy bears...and we put on Minnie Mouse undies.
"Don't pee on Minnie, make sure you tell mommy and we will ruuuuun to the potty again!"
She nodded and looked at me with her huge brown, long lashed eyes solemnly. I dared to dream of being diaper free after four and 1/2 years. Could it be? I am really getting sick of pee and poop. Please let it be.
Fast forward 15 minutes..
"Mommy, I am peeing again". Sure enough..there was a little puddle forming on the carpet. Ruuuuun to the bathroom. Too late, but we will keep trying. On to Daisy Duck undies. Minnie gets tossed in the hamper.
"Mommy, I want Candy now."
"No, baby, the candy is for when your pee pee is in the potty".
She nods, I go make a second cup of coffee.
Return to the family room..
"Mommy, my pee pee is in the potty."
"No baby, you peed on Minnie...not in the potty. But it's ok, we will keep trying."
As I tell her this I hear the quiet rushing sound of the toilet right after it is flushed.
Walk into the bathroom...
Walk into her room and look in the hamper...
No Minnie.
"ummm, baby, where is Minnie?"
"In the potty."
"Did you flush Minnie down the potty".
Big solemn brown eyes again, nodding.
I guess she put her pee in the potty alright.
Now where is my plunger?
Friday, March 23, 2012
how to scare men away
So you read about my rare but exceedingly wonderful date night 2 weeks ago. But there is a part I left out. Well there are a few parts, but one in particular.
My husband and I popped into and Irish pub after dinner, but decided not to stay. Before we left, hubby had to run to the restroom. I wandered aimlessly around the bar area, checked for texts from the babysitter, hummed to myself..until I heard a male voice, at very close range, say "Hello". I looked up to find a guy, much too metro for my taste anyway, leering at me. He even had an eyebrow raised, a la Flinn Ryder.
"You know what? You look like my second wife". he said.
This threw me for a loop...I didn't know where they guy was going with this. I was slightly innebriated after sharing a pitcher of Sangria with my husband, and was obviously a little dense.
"OK"....my clever response.
"Can I get you a drink?"...ok here is where I caught on....he was hitting on me...and ooohhhhh, now I get it..he doesn't have a second wife..yet. UGH
"Nope, just waiting on my husband"..I pointed towards the restroom.
"He shouldn't leave you alone".
Years ago I probably would have been thinking, " score, free drinks on this goofball." but I was having a nice night with my husband and really didn't want it marred by the middle aged man with a better manicure than mine, and eyebrows recently waxed.
"I'm a big girl, I'll be fine." I told Mr. Smooth.
"You have a great smile..." he continued.
Really? Really! What part of my husband is in the bathroom did you miss? Because now you are just being obnoxious.
So I pulled out the big guns. Not profanity. Not pithy remarks about his looks or his character...nope...
Now what I am about to share is proven to deflect any unwanted male attention..I have also used it at the grocery store and the auto shop. It is as fool proof as Elle Woods "bend, and snap".
I looked him straight in the eye and said " I also have three small children at home".
He deflated before my eyes, and backed away with his hands in front of him in surrender.."ok, then" he mumbled.
Buh-Bye!
My husband and I popped into and Irish pub after dinner, but decided not to stay. Before we left, hubby had to run to the restroom. I wandered aimlessly around the bar area, checked for texts from the babysitter, hummed to myself..until I heard a male voice, at very close range, say "Hello". I looked up to find a guy, much too metro for my taste anyway, leering at me. He even had an eyebrow raised, a la Flinn Ryder.
"You know what? You look like my second wife". he said.
This threw me for a loop...I didn't know where they guy was going with this. I was slightly innebriated after sharing a pitcher of Sangria with my husband, and was obviously a little dense.
"OK"....my clever response.
"Can I get you a drink?"...ok here is where I caught on....he was hitting on me...and ooohhhhh, now I get it..he doesn't have a second wife..yet. UGH
"Nope, just waiting on my husband"..I pointed towards the restroom.
"He shouldn't leave you alone".
Years ago I probably would have been thinking, " score, free drinks on this goofball." but I was having a nice night with my husband and really didn't want it marred by the middle aged man with a better manicure than mine, and eyebrows recently waxed.
"I'm a big girl, I'll be fine." I told Mr. Smooth.
"You have a great smile..." he continued.
Really? Really! What part of my husband is in the bathroom did you miss? Because now you are just being obnoxious.
So I pulled out the big guns. Not profanity. Not pithy remarks about his looks or his character...nope...
Now what I am about to share is proven to deflect any unwanted male attention..I have also used it at the grocery store and the auto shop. It is as fool proof as Elle Woods "bend, and snap".
I looked him straight in the eye and said " I also have three small children at home".
He deflated before my eyes, and backed away with his hands in front of him in surrender.."ok, then" he mumbled.
Buh-Bye!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
too good and too true
Sometimes life seems so good it's a little scary...like I am waiting for the bottom to drop out. Not a good attitude to have, I know. But I am taking stock of my life right now and feel overly blessed. I am a mom of three kids who I adore. If we want to go to the zoo...we go to the zoo. If we decide to pack picnic lunches and spend the day at the beach...we pack a lunch and go to the beach. If we decide to stay in pajamas all day and eat cereal for lunch, we do. We have the luxury to do what we want, together.
It wasn't always this easy. When the twins were little we were pretty much on house arrest. Preemies have underdeveloped immune systems and the exposure to every day illnesses can be devastating.We also had a heart monitor and oxygen tank to contend with. I had nightmares about being stuck on I95 behind an accident and the tank running low.
About the time I felt comfortable venturing out alone with the twins for more than a stroll (or one of our many, many Doctor's Appointments), I got the super surprise of being pregnant again. Frankly, I was tired and suffered from all-day-long sickness, so venturing out with the boys, a diaper bag full of basic necessaties for the them, and the double stroller could be overwhelming as well as physically and mentally exhausting.
Nothing was ever "a quick trip" or "just run in". Being in a hurry was never an option, and in fact only guaranteed that everything would take longer because I or the boys would get flustered. Adding a third baby to the mix made it nearly impossible to go anywhere with them alone. I had 2 one year olds and a newborn. It really wasn't feasible to think we could run to the grocery store or the park without it being a major production.
This fall the twins will be in pre-k five mornings a week. No more flexibility..no more acting on whims. No more waking up and saying "let's go see elephants today", or "let's build the tallest sand castle ever!" whenever we want. Nope, structure and a schedule that includes more than nap, meal and bed time.
But for the next few months, we can enjoy all our days together doing pretty much whatever they feel like. I am so lucky that my husband provides for us in a way that allows me to be home with these little ones while I can. I am blessed that the twins are healthy and smart and amazing, even after going through hell as newborns. I am blessed that my daughter is also healthy smart and amazing, and completes our family so perfectly. My husband and I are happy and compliment each other. I am outgoing and talkative and impetuous..he is logical and laid back. I have a temper while he is on an even keel. I am unorganized and messy, he is constantly organizing something, either physically or in his head. My head is usually in the clouds while he is grounded...so we make a good couple, and we parent well together.
I'm not saying my life is all rainbows and lollipops right now. I am usually tired and when one kid gets a cold, they all get a cold. There is a lot of whining in my house, and I am constantly filling something or wiping something. I vaccuum the same room three times some days, and meal time is like the witching hour four out of five times.
But I get to do all the fun things with my kids too. And having fun with them is the best fun there is. I just wonder how long one person can be this happy, and that i can take all this happiness with me and hold onto it when life hits a valley, which it inevitably will. Right now I am just enjoying the ride. And the beach.
It wasn't always this easy. When the twins were little we were pretty much on house arrest. Preemies have underdeveloped immune systems and the exposure to every day illnesses can be devastating.We also had a heart monitor and oxygen tank to contend with. I had nightmares about being stuck on I95 behind an accident and the tank running low.
About the time I felt comfortable venturing out alone with the twins for more than a stroll (or one of our many, many Doctor's Appointments), I got the super surprise of being pregnant again. Frankly, I was tired and suffered from all-day-long sickness, so venturing out with the boys, a diaper bag full of basic necessaties for the them, and the double stroller could be overwhelming as well as physically and mentally exhausting.
Nothing was ever "a quick trip" or "just run in". Being in a hurry was never an option, and in fact only guaranteed that everything would take longer because I or the boys would get flustered. Adding a third baby to the mix made it nearly impossible to go anywhere with them alone. I had 2 one year olds and a newborn. It really wasn't feasible to think we could run to the grocery store or the park without it being a major production.
This fall the twins will be in pre-k five mornings a week. No more flexibility..no more acting on whims. No more waking up and saying "let's go see elephants today", or "let's build the tallest sand castle ever!" whenever we want. Nope, structure and a schedule that includes more than nap, meal and bed time.
But for the next few months, we can enjoy all our days together doing pretty much whatever they feel like. I am so lucky that my husband provides for us in a way that allows me to be home with these little ones while I can. I am blessed that the twins are healthy and smart and amazing, even after going through hell as newborns. I am blessed that my daughter is also healthy smart and amazing, and completes our family so perfectly. My husband and I are happy and compliment each other. I am outgoing and talkative and impetuous..he is logical and laid back. I have a temper while he is on an even keel. I am unorganized and messy, he is constantly organizing something, either physically or in his head. My head is usually in the clouds while he is grounded...so we make a good couple, and we parent well together.
I'm not saying my life is all rainbows and lollipops right now. I am usually tired and when one kid gets a cold, they all get a cold. There is a lot of whining in my house, and I am constantly filling something or wiping something. I vaccuum the same room three times some days, and meal time is like the witching hour four out of five times.
But I get to do all the fun things with my kids too. And having fun with them is the best fun there is. I just wonder how long one person can be this happy, and that i can take all this happiness with me and hold onto it when life hits a valley, which it inevitably will. Right now I am just enjoying the ride. And the beach.
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