I remember being in High School and complaining every single Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday that I wished it was Friday.
All school year I wished it was Christmas break, then summer vacation. In college I wished I was finished with college. It just seemed like I was in limbo. Not really an adult, but not a kid any more. Then when I was working I wished it was five o'clock all day, and I wished for the next three day weekend. It was like discontent was rooted inside me, wherever I was and whatever I did. I was happy, but not happy enough. I was living in the present, but not appreciating it because I was spending so much time wishing for something from the future to materialize.
What a waste...the present is not insipid or insignificant. Once, when I was about 16, after complaining to my mom about wishing it was my birthday or flag day or Arbor day or whatever, she said "Don't wish your life away!" How poignant and true. I have tried to remember this ever since. But it is something I have to practice. Of course we are going to look forward to things and be excited and hopeful and anticipatory. Of course some days will be so rotten that we will want to sleep until they are over. Absolutely there will be moments we will not revel in, that will haunt us even. But that doesn't mean that there isn't beauty and opportunity that we over look. I am not going all "Carpe Diem" here. This is bigger, and smaller than that. This is just stop and look around at your life and think "things might be better when (fill in here), but damn if (fill in here) isn't pretty great RIGHT NOW".
I didn't fully appreciate that warning from my mom until I became a mom as well. As a mother, it has been : I wish my kids would sleep through the night"."I wish my kids were potty trained." "I wish my kids were old enough to sit still for more than 15 minutes." But my kids just ARE...and they are pretty fantastic how they ARE right now. I would have missed so much fabulousity had I wished away all the time when they were learning and growing into semi-independant little people.
I watched a cheesy fairy-tale on TV today. Prince Charming and the whole bundle. And I realized that there is no other life I want. There is no other person I'd rather spend time with than my husband. There is not a man I could love more. There is nothing I'd rather do than mother my kids, and occasionally write a little. I am not waiting for some proverbial shoe to drop to make me happy. I am not holding my breath until so and so happens. I am not in limbo. I am fully immersed in life in the present. I am so lucky and blessed and happy. Now I can only wish that it lasts, a long long time.