back in time...

I'm going to take you back a little bit here..and tell you the story of when I found out I was preggers with C.

It was late July. The twins were approximately 10 months old. I was a tired mess surviving on adrenalyn and caffeine. The last year had been pretty awful, with a terrible pregnancy and preemie babies and a long time in the NICU. We came home with a heart monitor and an oxygen tank and 2 very tiny two month olds. But at the same time it had been wonderful for the same reasons. We had 2 little miracles and they were thriving. They weren't sleeping, and it took them the better part of an hour to drink 3 ounces of formula, but they were thriving. And they were damn cute little things, too.

Anyway, after months of waking up 5 times a night, handwashing tons of bottles and changing millions of tiny diapers, I was starting to feel like things were relatively under control. Note the word "relatively". It was still pretty chaotic, but it was doable. We were off of preemie house arrest, and had ventured to the mall a few times and even a few restaraunts.

The babies were in tiny covered floats in the pool with their dad when I walked into the backyard to marvel at their preciousness and take pictures.

At this point my hubby pointed out that I looked a little different, kindof like I had WHEN I WAS PREGNANT.  ha ha. very funny. But the seed was planted.( Literally)  Within a few hours a full on panic attack was rearing it's head. As we got in the car to take the kids to Cracker Barrel  (it's family friendly and serves pancakes) I mentioned to my husband that I needed to stop at the drugstore and pick up a prescription for one of the boys.
He waited in the car with the kids while I ran in. Said prescription was not quite ready, so I had a few minutes to kill. As I browsed the aisles, I saw the pregnancy tests.  I couldn't resist. Even as I thought to myself "this is the biggest waste of $16 ever",  I knew that my stomach would not settle and my heart rate would not lower until I took this test. I think I paid for it but am not completely sure. And then I was in the CVS bathroom, and that pink line was obvious, immediately.  The bathroom was spinning. Really spinning. It wasn't that I was opposed to another baby. It's that I was shocked. Really and truly shocked.  The idea of having another baby had never really crossed my mind. I had already been blessed with two against the odds, and this was completetly out of left field. And I was completely consumed b being a mommy of young twins. I stumbled out of the store to the waiting truck, mouth hanging open and sans the prescription I had gone in after. I didn't say a word, just held up the stick for my husband to see.
He uttered an expletive. Again, in no way is this a reflection on the feelings of having another baby..he was just as shocked as I was. Even though we had joked about it, we didn't really think it was a possibility.

Over the next few months as we told friends and family I was expecting again people congratulated us, asked us if we were crazy, asked if we knew "how that happened",and asked us how the hell we found time. 

And let me tell ya, changing poop diapers while fighting morning sickness is awful. I am afraid I may have actually vomited on the twins a little.

You can imagine the looks I got, pushing a double stroller around with a pregnant belly.

Soon the shock became true excitement. I figured, hell, if I'm gonna have kids, I might as well go all out. 

Then, the following April, we had the most beautiful little girl ever born. And she was almost instantly a good eater and sleeper. (Thank You God!, because the twins didn't sleep through the night until FIFTEEN MONTHS old!)  And life is grand, and busy. C is so bossy and adorable and smart, and everywhere I go people assume I have triplets.

The triplets and I are about to go to Wal-Mart and terrorize some other shoppers.